Dear Diary.
It’s your friend, Ahmadinejad again. What a terrible week I’ve been having, Diary.
That Israeli girl is acting like such a fart! She thinks she’s hot stuff just ’cause that American boy bought her those nuclear-yellow pumps. OMG! She looks like such a total whore in those!
Well, today, I started looking at a nuclear-yellow hat, and that Israeli bitch got all up in my face like she owns the color nuclear-yellow. Her stupid, American boyfriend started giving me all this crap, too. I told them both to talk to the Hand. If they want to get into a slapping contest during recess, I’m, like, totally game and stuff.
Me and Israel got into it before at recess back in third grade. Back then, I always played on the slide. The slide was mine. I claimed it. Then Israel’s boyfriend tells me that the slide belongs to Israel. WTF!!!! He was all, like, “You gotta give Israel the slide because she’s all depressed and stuff about that field trip she took to the holocaust museum. Israel is such a drama queen! I swear! That field trip never even happened.
<sigh> You’re the only one who understands me, Diary.
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