Too Much?

            Unless you’re living under a pile of rusty, abandoned Volkswagens, you probably know that the Supreme Court shot down Schwarzenegger’s attempt to ban the sale of violent video games to minors. Countless concerned parents have taken scenes taken from “random” video games that depict the sort of violent programming to which they hope that their children will never discover themselves exposed. You’ve probably seen some of these scenes, yourself, as these same concerned parents have pasted them all over television in their efforts to keep people from ever seeing them.

One of the most upsetting scenes is from the newest sequel to the video game franchise Mortal Kombat. In this particular scene, two men (ninjas or something) each grab either of a woman’s legs before literally ripping her apart, her internal organs spilling out in a rather ghastly fashion. Some people see such a scene and think “Too much.” I look at it and think “Too little.” Wait! Allow me to explain. I don’t think “Too little gore.” I think “Too little innovation. Too little creativity.” You see, while the movie industry insists on releasing the same mindless sequels summer after summer, the video game industry is doing pretty much the same thing. And who could blame them? People are willing to pay good money to replay the same experiences over and over again. Why should any entertainment industry risk failure via a fresh idea? So rather than do something different and interesting, Mortal Komat just adds more gore to their preexisting platform. Before you judge them too harshly for this, consider that the franchise has tried new ideas. They included go-kart racing in one sequel, chess in another, heck, at one point, they even tried a real storyline. The results? No one touched those games. In fact, those games became objects of ridicule. So now we have two ninjas or something ripping a woman in half, bloody organs everywhere. The result? It’s a bestseller.

            In the world of fighting-themed video games, the franchise that least resembles Mortal Komat is Dead or Alive. If Dead or Alive sets a bad example, that might be the lack of gore. The Dead or Alive series seems to suggest that violence has no consequences at all. So what makes this franchise so popular? Dead or Alive features beautiful women wearing very little. That does the trick. In fact, more than once, the franchise created a game in which these females don’t fight at all; they just bounce around while playing volleyball in their bikinis. Here’s the catch: When these girls are beating the snot out of each other, the game is rated +13, suggesting that parents should reconsider allowing a child under the age of thirteen to play the game. However, when these same girls are jumping around in swimsuits . . . the game is rated Mature, suggesting that the game is entirely inappropriate for a minor of any age to play. WTF? In the case of Dead or Alive, the same “Too little creativity” problem arises, much in the same way that it has for Mortal Komat. Where Komat just heaped on more torture and blood, Alive just gave its characters skimpier outfits and continued to increase the size of their breasts (they’re now each larger than their owner’s head).

            The rating system in Alive strongly suggests that violence is acceptable over sex. Actually, a lot in the gaming world suggests this. You may recall another popular gaming franchise called Grand Theft Auto. It’s a game where you can waltz into a police station and open fire with an assault rifle, or perch atop a tall building before randomly pushing ammunition through the skulls of strangers via a sniper rifle. While Auto continues to face assault from those same concerned parents that I mentioned earlier, it wasn’t until a woman in one sequel took her top off that the game’s manufacturers had to recall it from the shelves.

            In the sandbox-style games Morrowind and Fallout New Vegas, there are strippers and prostitutes, and you can murder them if you like. You can hack them apart with a sword, cleave their heads open with an ax (Morrowind), shoot them in the face with a sawed-off shotgun, or beat them to death with a lead pipe (Vegas). In Vegas, you can even eat their corpses. In both cases, you can loot their bodies, stripping them down to their underwear. You can’t take their underwear, though, because then they would be naked, and that would be offensive.

            “Experts” say that American children are growing more violent every day. They claim that our children seem angry about something. They point out that these same kids play a lot of violent video games. I’m not debating today whether or not violent video games turn children violent. What I am pointing out is that these games seem to suggest that violence is fine, while sex and all the activities and emotions attached to it are wrong. Should we seem so surprised when adolescents are told that their most basic instincts and desires are evil and should be suppressed? Wouldn’t such suppression result in anger? Hmmm.

Perk Points (an idea for teaching)

Not that long ago, a friend of mine showed me how some teachers now used a reward program in their classrooms similar to that of video games, namely, the leveling up systems found in RPGs. Here is a program I intend to use in my own classroom.

PERK POINTS

            Perk Points: In my class, students will have the opportunity to earn perk points based on behavior, participation, and academic performance. When a student fails to follow the class procedures, that child risks forfeiting some of the points she or he had earned for that day. At the end of the day, they get to keep however many points they still have. A hardworking student can expect to earn up to six perk points per school day. These points are accumulative. As students amass more points, they may achieve higher Levels.

            Levels: Every student in my class begins the school year at Level One. As each student rises to a new level by collecting a certain number of perk points, they will earn the right to choose from a list of rewards called Perks, which I have listed on the following page.

            Class Perks: In addition to collecting perk points for themselves, students will also earn points for each other. All perk points collected by every student in class (at the end of each school day) are matched in a Class Pool. Class pool points amass to earn rewards that the entire class gets to enjoy. I’ve listed these perks on the last page of this handout.

           

Perks

            Level Two: A student achieves Level Two when she or he has amassed 20 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Two, she or he may choose one of the following two Perks:

·         10 extra minutes of free time every day, or

·         One time only, the student may add 100 Perk Points to the Class Pool (see final page of handout for those perks associated with the Class Pool).

Level Three: A student achieves Level Three when she or he has amassed 40 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Three, she or he may choose one of the following two Perks:

·         The student receives one additional, extra credit question on every quiz and test, or

·         For the next five school days, every student receives an additional 2 Perk Points at the end of the day (these will not be added to the Class Pool).

Level Four: A student achieves Level Four when she or he has amassed 80 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Four, she or he may choose one of the following two Perks:

·         The student receives an additional 20 Perk Points, or

·         The student may wear a hat in class (but only while in the classroom).

(Continue to Next Page!)

Level Five: A student achieves Level Five when she or he has amassed 140 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Five, she or he may choose one of the following two Perks:

·         One time only, the student may select one other classmate. That classmate receives 40 Perk Points, or

·         One time only, the student may add 40 Perk Points to their own total.

Level Six: A student achieves Level Six when she or he has amassed 220 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Six, she or he may choose one of the following two Perks:

·         Once per test and quiz, the student may select one question. That question is automatically treated as if answered correctly, or

·         The student may roll a six-sided die. The entire class receives Perk Points equal to the result times ten. In other words, if the result is a three, then every student receives 30 Perk Points. These points are not added to the Class Pool.

Level Seven: A student achieves Level Seven when she or he has amassed 300 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Seven, she or he may choose one of the following three Perks:

·         Once per week, the student may wear appropriate pajamas to class, or

·         Every student receives a fun, extra credit opportunity, or

·         The student receives Double Perk Points for the next ten school days.

(Continue to Next Page!!)

Level Eight: A student achieves Level Eight when she or he has amassed 400 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Two, she or he may choose one of the following three Perks:

·         The student receives Triple Perk Points for the next eight school days, or

·         Double Perk Points for all students for the next five school days, or

·         Triple Perk Points for Class Pool for the next two school days.

Level Nine: A student achieves Level Nine when she or he has amassed 500 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Nine, she or he may choose one of the following three Perks:

·         After the next test or quiz, add to the Class Pool 50 Perk Points for every A that the students earn, and add to the Class Pool 30 Perk Points for every B that the students earn, or

·         The student receives a bag of M&M’s (parents will be contacted for possible food allergies) at the end of every day for the next five school days, or

·         Every student receives a bag of M&M’s (parents will be contacted for possible food allergies) at the beginning of every day for the next two school days.

(Continue to Next Page!!!)

Level Ten: A student achieves Level Ten when she or he has amassed 620 Perk Points. When a student reaches Level Nine, she or he may choose one of the following three Perks:

·         Every day for the next five school days, each of the student’s classmates receives a bonus number of Perk Points equal to however many the student receives, or

·         The student may choice to lose 100 Perk Point and return to Level Nine, but the classmate of the student’s choice will automatically receive enough Perk Points to rise to the next level (these changes will not affect the Class Pool), or

·         The student may select and enjoy one perk from any one of the previous levels.

Gold Level!: A student achieves Gold Level! When she or he has amassed 740 Perk Points. When a student reaches Gold Level!, she or he may choose one of the following three Perks:

·         The student may choose NOT to receive a perk, but instead select another student (or select her- or himself), and the selected student may receive ALL of her or his perks when she or he next gains a level, or

·         The student will receive an additional 5% on all of her or his tests and quizzes, or

·         ALL students in the classroom receive an additional 3% on all of their tests and quizzes.

(Don’t Stop Now! The Best is Yet to Come!! Next Page!!!)

Hyper-Sweet Level!!! (words cannot describe the Awesome): A student achieves Hyper-Sweet Level!!! when she or he has amassed 900 Perk Points. When a student reaches Hyper-Sweet Level!!!, she or he may choose one of the following three Perks:

·         The student selects another student. The selected student may receive ALL of her or his perks when she or he next gains a level, or

·         All students receive an additional 5 Perk Points every day, or

·         Add 200 Perk Points to the Class Pool.

Class Perks!!!

            White Belt: The Class Pool has reached a total of 500 Perk Points. When this happens, the class has earned a video and popcornJ

            Green Belt: The Class Pool has reached a total of 1000 Perk Points. When this happens, the class has earned a pizza partyJ

            Blue Belt: The Class Pool has reached a total of 2000 Perk Points. When this happens, the class has earned a classroom visit from an age-appropriate comedian.

            Purple Belt: The Class Pool has reached a total of 5000 Perk Points. When this happens, the class has earned a field trip to a play (Parents interested in chaperoning are invited to contact me ).

            Red Belt: The Class Pool has reached a total of 9000 Perk Points. When this happens, the class has earned a field trip to the movie theater (Parents interested in chaperoning please contact me at either).

            Black-and-silver-with-pink-polka-dots Belt: The Class Pool has reached 15000 Perk Points. When this happens, the class has earned a field trip to Chucky Cheese (Parents interested in chaperoning Please! contact me).

Parents will be contacted to check for any possible food allergies that their children might have.

The Single Worst Role Model for Young Girls

            Last March, a movie called Sucker Punch arrived in theaters. The movie starred a group of young women who beat up robots, samurais, zombies, dragons, and creepy guys with drawn-on mustaches. These girls fight while wearing wonderfully sexy outfits. I see nothing wrong with this. I rather enjoyed it, to be honest. However, a fellow student of mine at the University of Central Florida felt differently.

This student shared with me her disgust for Sucker Punch. She insisted that the females starring in it had set a terrible example for her impressionable, seven-year-old daughter. What a seven-year-old was doing in an R-rated movie is beyond me, but that’s not the point I’m working towards. The point I do wish to address is that when I asked my fellow student what movie she did consider a fine example for her daughter, she said without the slightest hint of hesitation, “Snow White.”

            Snow White? Was she kidding me? Snow White is, hands down, the single worst role model for any impressionable, young girl.

            For those six or seven people unfamiliar with its plot, Snow White is the story of a princess who has no redeeming qualities beyond her beauty (though I remain unimpressed) and her ability to not club to death every animal she comes across in the forest (what the hell was she doing in the forest, anyway?). She spends her existence singing about how, “Someday, my prince will come,” because she certainly can’t think of anything else to do with herself beyond marry the first dude who comes knocking and do whatever the hell he tells her to.

Jealous of Snow White’s beauty, her stepmother (who’s wicked—big surprise) orders this guy—who’s the “royal hunter” or some damn thing—to arrange an “accident” while taking Snow White out hunting with him. Think of him as the world’s very first Dick Cheney.
And it's not as if anyone would ask questions, right? I mean, the sweet, innocent princess goes off into the woods with some dude, and an hour later the dude returns, drenched in blood and without a princess. Who would raise an eyebrow?

            But the hunter “rescues” Snow White by not killing her. So does Snow White seek revenge against her stepmother? Does she ask to borrow the hunter’s pump-action Remington so that she can settle the score? Of course not. She does what the hunter tells her to do, which is run pointlessly deeper into the woods because that makes a hell of a lot of sense. So she unquestioningly does as she’s told, and, being a helpless, sniveling, pain in the ass, gets lost in the forest and weeps. So she is then rescued by deer.

            I’ll repeat that. She. Is. Rescued. By. Deer. Deer! They guide her to a cottage shared by seven dwarfs (because child services hadn’t yet been founded, I guess), and she follows the deer without question, lives with the dwarfs without question, does as they tell her without question, and proceeds to take no charge of her life, whatsoever.

            Then, the wicked stepmother (I don’t know why I’m bothering to specify which stepmother. Whitey only has one) tries to kill Snow White, who of course is helpless to defend herself because she has a sense of independence rivaled by most fetuses. Fortunately for her, Prince Charming happens by her funeral, sees her, and thinks, Hey. A corpse. I should kiss that. That would be totally charming. So his kiss resurrects her, and then he says, "Bitch, get your ass on my horse," to which she says, "Yes, sir." I don’t even think he asked her how she feels about the idea; I think she just sort of smiles and keeps her mouth shut.

            My point is that, violent as the girls in Sucker Punch might have been, and as disinterested in any sort of dress codes as they were, at least they made decisions for themselves. That might have been the whole point of the movie. Whereas in Snow White, the protagonist does nothing. She makes not a single decision and fails to evolve in any way during the course of her adventure.  She just falls helplessly from one man’s arms to the next (and those belonging to a deer or two). Snow White is the worst role model imaginable, and her singing sucks.

Is there anyone out there?

You are now entering the workforce. Many of you will begin your careers in another state. In doing so, many of you will separate from your girl- or boyfriends. Alone, you will journey to another part of the country, away from family and friends, where you know no one.

Imagine your coworkers, most of whom will have families to go home to and little interest in “hanging out after work.” Perhaps this will describe all your coworkers, subordinates, and boss. It’s certainly feasible. You will be new, and younger, and perhaps hold political and religious opinions that differ too far from their own for them to accept.

Your separate schedules will impede upon your ability to telephone your parents. You trade emails, wondering how many will it take to forget the sound of Dad’s voice.

You keep tabs with your friends by using Facebook, or perhaps some fresher, more distant form of communication. You will try to make new friends. Perhaps you will search for a local writer’s workshop, only to discover that the only ones available are online. You will decide to meet people by returning to school and learning a new language, only to discover that these classes are also online. The clubs and bars will be half empty. The people who would inhabit them are at home, clicking away on a keyboard and staring, mesmerized, into a glowing screen, the only source of light in their bedrooms.

When you require help with something (fixing your toaster oven, let’s say), you will consult with a virtual assistant, with whom you will communicate online. Or you could submit your questions on Yahoo Answers. If that doesn’t work, a recording is only a phone call away. You can probably find the number on the box in which the toaster oven arrived.

Technology will fill your life with wondrous conveniences. Your letters and bills will arrive by email, so you won’t have to answer the door for the mailman. The gate to your apartment complex will be automated, so you will not have to speak to a guard. After parking your car, you will approach the door to your building, which opens automatically, so you won’t have to tip a doorman on Christmas. You can download books, so you will never again have to step inside a crowded bookstore. No need to locate a coffee shop. Your apartment comes with a coffee and cappuccino machine. The microwave will erase your need of restaurants. You can even gamble online, download movies at the press of a button, raise a virtual pet, and really get to know the cast of the television program, Big Brother. Like sports? Buy a Playstation.

You will shop for those few items you cannot locate online. At the store, if you have questions concerning an item for sale, you can scan that item using one of the many scanners scattered across the aisles. The scanner’s screen will answer your question. The checkout lanes will be automated.

You will have to start paying back your student loans, so seeing the family for the holidays is a financial impossibility. Rest assured, though. You will receive several voice mails—it is a special occasion, after all.